Bend and Break
by Shelbey
Summary: Summer romances were never built to last and Lovino was foolish enough to think that this would.
1. Chapter 1

Lovino Vargas was used to being alone.

He was used to spending the sweltering Italian summers in his bed, the sole proprietor of his sheets and his thoughts and the stars out of his window. He was used to sitting alone on the window seat in the villa his grandfather owned, his brother out with his guardian to places Lovino didn't care to go to, staring out of the glass at the shimmering air and the dancing clouds that floated by in a lazy fashion. He was used to bringing a girl or two home, only to have them fawn over Feliciano, because that's the way things were.

Feliciano was cute and fun, he was talented and pleasant to be around. Lovino could charm the best of the girls, but the moment they met Feli, there was no reason he could think of for them to stay with him.

He was used to striding through the gardens, one set of footprints in the deep snow, the air filled with the cloud of one man's breath, the silence filled with one man's motions. He lived his life alone and that was just fine by him. He knew that a person could not miss something that he has never had before so he rarely found reason to lament his situation. He was used to watched the sun rise alone, watching the sun set alone, watching the stars creep out in the sky alone. He spent twenty one years in his own thoughts and the thoughts of others simply did not interest him anymore.

Lovino Vargas walked into a local cantina, a place he frequented when he was younger but hadn't been in a long time since his last girlfriend of nearly six months had left him in a fit of tears because Lovino could not say that he cared about her in any fashion. He couldn't lie to her, he just couldn't. Not even for the sake of filling the loneliness in his heart, because it wasn't worth it to lie.

The building was not very full when he sat down and bought himself a bottle of wine. The man at the counter popped the cork, and he filled himself up a full glass, taking a sip and enjoying the flavor as it dripped down his throat. This was the best way to live life, he mused to himself, his eyes gazing over the rich color of the wine and completely ignoring the rest of the occupants. A fine glass of wine, a charming atmosphere and his own thoughts. Abruptly, a soft exclamation was heard behind him in a language he did not understand and after a moment's silence, suddenly, sitting in the chair beside him, there was a man. He stole only the briefest of glances at him, irritated at the sudden occupation of his personal space.

He was olive skinned, tanned from what was probably long days in the sun, and indescribably handsome, midset cheekbones and full lips, accompanied by long, dark lashes and a strong jaw. His eyes shone green in the lights and his hair was a ruffled mop of brown that framed his face. His sleeves were rolled up to the elbow, and Lovino couldn't help but appreciate for a moment the strong forearms that were resting atop the polished counter. He turned back to his wine, pouring himself another glass and sipping on it expertly as he waited for the foreigner to order his drink and get a move on.

The man didn't leave the counter after he received his beer, and Lovino became impatient, turning to say something to him when he realized the man's green eyes were completely fixated on him. Against his better judgment he was dazzled by the intensity of the gaze, and instead of telling him to fuck off like he normally would have, took his bottle of wine, and retreated to a table deeper in the cantina. His heart was racing in his chest, and he refused to let this strange, fluttering feeling get the better of him. Though he knew he shouldn't, he took a glance at the bar again, and saw that the foreign man had gone, and breathed a sigh of relief, finishing his glass with gusto.

_Here's to being alone._

The seat beside him creaked as he contemplated polishing off one more glass before heading back home or just downing the bottle when he got there. Either way, this bottle was not going to last longer than the night. At the sound, he scowled at the occupant and was not particularly surprised to see the tanned man with his beer sitting there, smiling a goofy, heart stopping smile and Lovino wondered why he was so careless with something so powerful to use it on him in the first place.

People, men or women, don't smile at Lovino like that, they just don't. They don't sit at his table, uninvited, with their elbow resting on the hard wood and their cheeks resting in their palms, their eyes watching him so adoringly like he was some sort of precious work of art. He ignored the man for the better part of the evening, but nothing seemed to make him want to give up. When he finally finished his bottle, he left the man without ever saying a word to him.

But he was there the next night, and the night after, and every night it seemed for nearly a fortnight. He attempted to dress a little better with each passing encounter, and even though Lovino never said a single word to him, the man never stopped staring. Never stopped trying to buy him drinks. Never moved from his table even though Lovino glared at him in a way that always made Feliciano shake in his boots and his grandfather not bother him.

Because they knew Lovino well enough to not pry.

One night, Lovino had arrived earlier than he usually did, and had finished his bottle quickly in a desperate attempt to block out not only his pitiful existence, but the existence of the _Spagnolo_ man that had not yet arrived, and his clumsy attempts to somehow get Lovino to speak to him. Lovino knew he was foreign, and it didn't take long to get information out of some of the gossips that were regulars at the cantina to tell him from where. He did not bother to look up when he heard the chair screech across the tiles, not needing visual confirmation of who was joining him at the small table at the back of the cantina.

He was too drunk to even bother reacting when the man placed a worried hand on his back, and heard the loud clank of the empty wine bottle as it was lifted and placed back down on the table. He muttered something in Spanish that sounded vaguely like _borracho_, but he was too tired to demand what it meant as the man lifted his arm over his shoulder and dragged him from the cantina. He vaguely motioned in the direction of his house, his mind in such a blur that he was showing this creep where he lived, and what would his grandpa and brother say when he got home in this state?

Lovino struggled against the man to show him how to get around the house to the window to his bedroom, and the Spaniard complied, opening the window smoothly and lifting Lovino easily through it. He put Lovino in bed, and made to leave, but Lovino couldn't let him go without answers as to why he was bothering him all the time, and gripped his hand, tugging him onto the bed. The man ended up on top of him, his eyes wide in surprise for a moment before shifting over to lay beside him, over the covers.

Though he was drunk, it was a night he remembered for a very long time, speaking for the first time to Antonio Fernandez Carriedo, the Spanish farmer who was on vacation in Italy at the urging of his best friend, a Frenchman named Francis whom he admitted ditched him nearly every night to frequent the Italian brothels rather than spend time with Antonio. Not that he minded, for he had found ways to keep himself occupied during the evenings. Antonio's deep voice was very adept with the Italian language, but the Spanish lilt was there, and in the haze of alcohol, Lovino couldn't help but think how attractive it was.

He was sure he made a fool out of himself talking to Antonio, carrying on about his brother and his grandfather and his life, about his guitar and his tiny tomato patch in the garden he had been cultivating carefully for years. About growing up in Italy and the things that mattered to him. He didn't say a word about his love life, because Antonio would only laugh. Antonio was thirty, and probably incredibly experienced in the ways of love and romance and Lovino didn't want to embarrass himself.

Lovino was draped over him most of the night, his head against the man's chest and his arms curled around his back. Antonio held him over the sheets, but Lovino did not mind. For the first time in his life, he fell asleep with someone holding him close, even if it were only once. The next morning Lovino was awoken with a horrendous headache, and tried to roll over away from the glare of the sun, only to realize he was rolling into the chest of a still very much asleep Spaniard in his bed. Sometime during the night, Antonio had curled up under the covers with him, and Lovino grimaced because in the momentary daze of sleepiness, he had completely forgotten about him.

Antonio laughed the entire time Lovino was kicking him out of his room.

He was determined to get back at him, but how, he was not sure. For the next week he avoided the cantina like the plague, hoping that Antonio would soon forget about him and he would forget about Antonio. It was the perfect plan, because Lovino could not afford to get attached like that, to someone he barely knew, because all it meant was getting hurt in the end.

Two weeks after the embarrassing night in his room, Lovino was preparing for bed, but a tap at his window startled him. He threw open the panes, but saw no one, and scowled, hoping that whoever it would come back so he could hit them in the face. As he was closing the window, he noticed something below the sill, and leaned out as far as he was able to pick it up. It was a wicker basket filled to the brim with shiny, ripe red tomatoes.

The note attached had horrendous, but still legible handwriting, reading, _Hope to see you soon, mi corazón. _Lovino was touched and furious, embarrassed and confused as he brought the basket into his room, picking up one of the tomatoes and taking a bite out of it happily. His favorite, and the only person who knew that, besides Feliciano and Grandpa Roma, was...

He spat the tomato out and felt his cheeks grow warm, nearly toppling the basket over.

Antonio Fernandez Carriedo was not a man to be shaken easily. He found presents at his windowsill every night, each with a note calling him _corazón_ and every night he felt his heart twist and tear and agonize over every single sincere note that he couldn't bring himself to adore. Lovino couldn't bear the thought of happiness that would only be crumpled and ruined. Antonio would simply have to go home eventually, and Lovino could move on.

He woke up around midnight suddenly, and heard a soft voice echoing through his window. Shaking his head, Lovino pushed open the window and saw a shadowed figure in the dark of the garden wall, performing quietly to him a song he could not understand, the guitar singing in his hands a tune that he did not recognize. He craned his neck as far as he could, but could not make out the figure near the garden wall. But the voice, he knew the voice.

Antonio stopped playing a few minutes later, and stepped into the moonlight where Lovino could see him more clearly. He smiled, Lovino's heart skipped, and he blew a kiss to him before disappearing out of the garden gate.

Lovino put a hand to his mouth and slid down to the floor, suddenly aware of every little thing he body was feeling at that moment. His chest felt like it was about to burst and he felt warm and hot all over. He couldn't shake the sensation, he couldn't make it go away and leave him alone no matter how badly he wanted it to.

One night, after his window was tapped, there was nothing below the sill, but a small piece of paper tied to a shutter, blowing in the breeze. _Follow me. _Lovino swallowed hard, and climbed out of the window, pulling his jacket around his shoulders as he crossed the path through the garden, and out the side gate. A hand took his suddenly, and he nearly jumped and hissed at him, but Antonio was smiling too brightly to even be upset. They walked for a little while, their hands tightly clasped and Lovino's heart racing.

Antonio stopped suddenly when they reached a small field, just past the outskirts of the town, and smiled at Lovino. He had a picnic set up for them, and Lovino wanted to tell him how stupid he was for going through all this trouble, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Antonio spent the night with him under the stars, the two eating and talking. He found himself watching Antonio's mouth, the shape of his lips as he spoke his native tongue and the way he carefully formed them around the Italian words that he knew so easily.

His eyes swept over the careful tilt of his neck and the flush the alcohol left on his cheeks the way he laughed and the way he frowned. Lovino could feel his heart melt with every minute that passed in this company and he was terrified of what it was doing to him.

Lovino was finally unable to handle the pressure of keeping himself from feeling so much that he wanted to feel. Cracking under the weight of the emotions he suppressed for so long, he moved from his spot as far from Antonio on the blanket he could get, and leaned over the bottle of wine and the little sliced up tomatoes, and kissed him gently mid-sentence. He pulled back, and Antonio's face was surprised for a moment, and Lovino felt stupid, so stupid, for thinking that was a good idea. There was no way—

Antonio gripped his face and kissed him back, the fervor that he pressed his lips against Lovino's surprising him immensely. But he didn't fight it. He didn't stop Antonio as they fell backwards on the blanket, Lovino laying on top of Antonio as they made obvious their feelings for each other. Lovino's head was dizzy as Antonio kissed his neck and held his waist and played with his hair. No one did this, no one ever wanted this with him.

He couldn't help but think that there was nothing so perfect as this night.

Lovino awoke with Antonio in his bed once more, the two embracing so tightly he that if they moved, he feared he would break. The Spaniard's tanned skin was so warm against his own pale flesh, and he squeezed Antonio tighter into him, and felt the man react the same, pressing a kiss against his head and brushing back that one impossible curl Lovino knew stood out in his hair. He had never felt so complete as he did then, sharing a bed with Antonio in the best way possible.

Lovino did not see Antonio again.

He sat by the window, waiting for the tap at the glass.

He sat at his little table in the cantina, waiting for the scrape of the chair.

He sat in the grassy field, waiting for the crunch of footsteps in the grass.

He waited in bed every night, hoping that something would change, that Antonio would crawl back in with him, and they would spend the night together, talking and kissing and making love and holding each other close. Days passed with no sign of the man and every single day Lovino agonized over the possibilities of his departure.

He mentioned being on vacation. Did he have some unspoken desire to get some while in Italy and Lovino was an easy target? If that were so, now there was no reason for him to talk to Lovino. Did Antonio get what he wanted? Lovino did not know, but the thought of it ate him up inside, and he couldn't bring himself to think that it was true. Antonio was too kind, too sweet to even consider doing that to someone, right? He didn't know. In fact, he realized how stupid he was, how painfully innocent and naïve he was. He gave Antonio everything after what? Three months? How could he be so stupid?

How could he trust someone so easily after years of trusting no one at all?

Was he so desperate to hear the words I love you that he would be willing to give himself over so easily, so cheerfully to a complete stranger? He climbed out of his bed and snuck out through the window, not sure of where he was going but knowing that he had to go somewhere or he'd lose his mind. His feet led him down the oft taken path towards the cantina he used to love, and he entered the building, the familiarity washing over him. He sat at the counter, and ordered his typical bottle of wine, wondering if he could just fall back into this lifestyle again as easily as he had left it.

He took the first sip and stared around the cantina, half expecting to see a familiar face of someone that used to go there often, when suddenly, his heart jumped into his throat. Antonio was sitting in the back with another man, and two girls sitting with them. He stared for a moment, unable to believe his eyes, and nearly broke the stem of the glass he'd been using to drink his wine. The man was blonde and handsome, with blue eyes and a rugged chin, his clothes chic and form fitting. Antonio was laughing, and the girls were watching them both adoringly, and Lovino felt a heat rise on the back of his neck as the Spaniard leaned over to press a kiss to one of the girls, who giggled.

So that was how it was then.

He motioned for the man behind the counter to give the rest of his wine to that group, and he stood up as he downed his final glass, watching from the doorway as Antonio and his friends accepted it in gracious confusion. When the man pointed out their benefactor, Antonio's face paled as their eyes met for a brief moment before Lovino left in a hurry, hoping that he could get home before crying.

It was not the case, and he walked inside, ignoring the cries of concern from Feliciano and Grandpa Roma as he made his way to his room, locking the door behind him and curling up in his bedsheets.

_Fuck_.

How could he have possibly been so stupid as to think that Antonio actually cared? He picked him up in the cantina for god's sake. He should have seen this coming, he should have known better. But he didn't and it ate him up inside painfully, the emotion wracking his frame and the tears wetting his pillow pathetically.

A tap was heard at his window, frantic but soft, though Lovino ignored it, knowing exactly who it was going to be and not wanting any part of it. What other lie could Antonio tell him to get into his bed again? To accept affections that he did not reciprocate in the way that Lovino desperately wanted him to? The tap sounded again, louder this time, and he pulled himself out of bed to tell Antonio to fuck off.

He threw the window open and glared out into the darkness at the figure that stood before his windowsill. Antonio was disheveled and his face was still as pale as he had seen it when they met eyes in the cantina. His eyes widened as he saw Lovino's face and the Italian rubbed the tear stains from his cheeks in embarrassment. They stared at each other for a moment before Antonio ran his fingers through his hair, taking a few steps forward towards Lovino's window.

Lovino tried to close the window but Antonio put his hand against the glass, his face pleading and there was something about those green eyes that he simply couldn't say no to. But he felt the struggle under his skin, the thought of trust and so much more being direction to Antonio again after what he had just seen.

The Spanish man placed his palms together as if saying a prayer, his eyes wide and his mouth skewed in so much pain that Lovino wasn't sure what to do. Finally he cowered back a little and shook his head, unable to look Antonio in the eyes as he did so. He snuck a peek at the man, his chest aching, and saw that there was a faint glimmer in his eyes as he nodded in agreement, bowed, and took his leave.

Lovino realized he had just made the biggest mistake of his life when he could no longer see Antonio walking away in the distance.

AN: One more chapter to go!


	2. Chapter 2

It was summer again.

A year had passed since he had last seen Antonio and while it hadn't been easy, Lovino was finally able to push aside that short romance he had tricked himself into believing was real and get on with his normal life.

A life of loneliness, work, and his brother and Grandpa, just like he had lived before and how he wuold live after. But at twenty two years old, who was he to say that was bad for him? His grandfather constantly told him he was too young to be worrying about such trivial things as marriage and settling down. He had his entire life ahead of him yet, and there was nothing to be worried about in the romance department because he was so handsome and the right girl just not had come along yet.

His grandpa was never really that great at consoling Lovino.

But he sat outside on the grassy knoll he knew so well, choosing to relive that night for the first time in a long time, not sure why he was putting himself through this again and again. Sometimes he thought he liked to remember something so happy for happiness's sake and others he thought it was because it hurt him so badly, and he wanted to know he could feel something. What a sad waste of a life he had been given.

Lovino laid back on the grass, staring at the sky with nary a care in the world. The breeze rolled over him in wafts, the clouds floating along as carefree as himself, and the sun was warm on his face. The smells of the summer atmosphere were pleasant and calming and Lovino couldn't help but hope that he could lay here forever and be happy. He sighed deeply, feeling the weigh ton his chest escaping through his breath as he did. A wave of absolute contentment washed over him for the first time in years and he allowed himself a small smile.

A tickle of grass touched his cheek and he reached to move it from his skin, until his fingertips brushed the warm skin of another person. Lovino had never moved so quickly in his life as he leapt from his back on the grass, nearly tripping down the hill if it weren't for another soul gripping his wrist before he could. The person held him close, their thighs and hips and chests pressed closely together, closer than Lovino had ever been to another person in quite some time.

Emerald green eyes bored into his, the color almost dancing in the sunshine and shaded by a fringe of messy brown hair. But his face was deathly serious, his mouth skewed into an uncertain line and his body tense as Lovino stared at him. He reached one hand out, the pale hue of his skin more apparent in contrast to the olive tone of his companion. Antonio Fernandez Carriedo reached to grip Lovino's hand but before he could Lovino pulled back and let his fist fly as hard as he could into Antonio's cheek, feeling the hard bone against his knuckles with a sense of satisfaction

Antonio was knocked off balance onto his back, staring at Lovino in complete shock for a moment as he stood over him, his fist raised. A throb ran through his hand, but he ignored it, feeling like it was the single most gratifying thing in the world as he flexed his fingers. He turned away and ran, the wind suddenly too hot and the air too humid, the grass itchy and the sun blinding. His perfect day had gone to hell, all because of that stupid guy.

Where did he come from? Why was he back in Italy anyway? What was the _fucking_ point? Why did he come seek out Lovino, of all people, after what he had done to him before? Did he expect some sort of welcome with open arms? Lovino shook his head, gripping his shirt over his chest, the emotions he had buried deeply inside suddenly raging through him. All the regret, and the agony of betrayal and the loss of hope, the fluttering idea that maybe someone gave a shit about him.

He didn't go through the front door, escaping into his room instead through his window and slamming the glass shut behind him in his fright. His heart was pounding in his chest, threatening to burst out at any moment as he slid to the ground, tears welling in his eyes. Burying his face in his hands, Lovino lamented his choice to ditch Antonio, wondering if his heart could take another stretch of time without even saying goodbye to him.

Why did he have to feel this way?

Lovino tried hard to stop the tears from falling, but it was a futile attempt, and he wasn't sure where to turn next. He couldn't go to Feliciano or his grandpa. They never even knew about Antonio to begin with, they wouldn't know what to say to him and besides, they were gone visiting a friend of Feli's in Germany for the next week. All he wanted to do was crawl into bed and sleep for the next twenty years or until he forgot about Antonio, whichever came first. But he wasn't sure which it would be, and that thought hurt more than anything else.

Suddenly, softly, a tap sounded at his window, and his quieted himself, reaching for the aperture out of a long forgotten habit that scared him. He paused, his eyes wide, hand shaking, unsure of what to do. Another tap. Lovino bit his lip and turned away, retracting his hand and curling into himself. He couldn't do this to his heart again.

What a fool he was.

Maybe it was out of spite for himself that Lovino found himself at the cantina again several days later after refusing to make a visit for the entire year after Antonio's departure from his life. For some reason, attending there seemed like the right thing to do, like it was time for him to move on with his affections.

The spot at the bar.

The wine.

The feeling of overwhelming loneliness.

It was like they were all here waiting for him to return, and return he did.

The night was blurry as he made his way home, an empty bottle clutched in his hand as he walked, stumbling down the road alone. It had been quite some time since he had been this drunk, but Lovino knew he needed this tonight, to simply allow himself this _one night_ of forgetting something that should have been long forgotten already. He wanted to wallow and cry and ache and hurt and then forget everything that ever happened to him before this moment. To become a person so entirely different that perhaps Antonio wouldn't recognize him again, wouldn't approach him anymore.

Someone grabbed his arm and he found himself toppling to his knees, unable to keep himself upright against the force. Another hand pulled painfully at his hair and, alarmed, Lovino turned his gaze from the cobblestone pathway into the shadowed eyes of a man who was half dragging him from the main road. The man tore at Lovino's pockets, pulling his wallet from them and rifling through it, small bills fluttering around in his haste.

He just stared, open mouthed for a moment, before standing up and drunkenly attempting to reach for it. The man shoved him backwards into the wall, and he stayed still, the severity of the situation escalating as the man held a knife near his eyes, threatening him with it. A breeze blew through and it iced him to the bone as he dropped the wine bottle to the cobblestones, the resulting breaking of the glass causing a sound to break the silence around them.

A figure quickly and silently approached Lovino's peripheral vision and subdued the attacker easily, twisting the man's arm until the knife dropped and he was on his knees in agony. The figure elbowed the man across the face, sending him onto his back before pocketing the knife and gripping Lovino by his upper arm and dragging him from the side of the building he had been forced behind. He was dazed as the brown haired man pulled him along after tucking his wallet safely back in his pocket, his eyes unable to focus on any of the details of his savior.

But he soon realized that the man knew where he was going as he led Lovino home, and his mind groggily put two and two together as Antonio nearly threw Lovino at the front door of the house. He turned to leave without a word and Lovino was going to let him. He stared at his back for only a moment before deciding and reached out to him, gripping Antonio's wrist and preventing him easily from leaving. He didn't even have to use any force; the brush of their skin was enough to make the Spaniard pause. They met eyes as what happened overwhelmed Lovino and he burst into tears, gripping Antonio's shirt with both hands.

Antonio was surprised but he held Lovino tightly, nothing but the softness of his sobs echoing in the nighttime air. After what seemed like forever in his embrace, Antonio gently ushered Lovino towards the door of his home. The younger man pulled him inside with him, locking the door behind them before tumbling to the floor in the living room, between two couches that were situated around an ornate rug. The moonlight shone through the glass doors leading to the yard, and Lovino couldn't help but admire the way Antonio's eyes shone in the moonlight.

The Spaniard chose two pillows from the couches and placed them next to each other on the carpet, taking a moment to find Lovino's bedroom to pull blankets from his bed and carrying them back to the drunk young man. Lovino was too tired, too intoxicated to resist curling up on the floor next to Antonio feeling secure and safe and warm for the first time in a long time as the man wrapped his arms around his waist, holding him tightly to his chest.

Why was it so difficult to say no to him?

Why did this feel so right? Like he was finally home? His entire life had a been a long stretch of isolation and loneliness, and yet now, in this moment, he couldn't recall the feeling. All he could think about was Antonio, all that mattered was Antonio.

The light blinded him the next day, streaming in brightly from the living room doors as he put an arm over his eyes. His head ached, his back screamed at him and he wondered what the hell that weight on his lap was. Lovino sat up quickly in shock and against his better judgment, felt a soft smile curl over his lips at the sight of Antonio dead asleep, his head resting against Lovino's thighs. His mouth was slightly open, a trail of drool evident on his lips, and he was still fully dressed, shoes and all. He must have shifted sometime during the night, and despite all that had happened, he had never awoken more happily.

A pang of affection coursed through him shockingly, and he couldn't help but feel like this was something he could dream of waking up to for the rest of his life. At that moment though, all he did was wake the damn bastard up and make him leave the premises immediately to hide the overemotional mess that he was at that moment.

The rest of the day was quiet, and Lovino stayed in the bundle of blankets on the floor after Antonio departed, staring up at the ceiling in discontent. The smell of the earth and sunshine filtered through the blankets, the scent of Antonio around him. He pressed his face into them, letting the smell and remembrance of Antonio engulf him until he felt like he might cry. The ache in his heart was too much for him.

_What was he thinking?_

He was so, so foolish for letting that man back in his life. He couldn't take back the heartache that he had given Lovino, and Lovino couldn't bring himself to forgive the man for what he had done to him. But still.

Antonio had found his way back here to him, and searched him out specifically. How could he stay angry at that?

The door creaked open and Lovino jumped up, scrambling to replace all the bedding on the floor and dry his eyes before his grandfather and Feliciano could enter the living room. Much to his surprise, it was neither of his family members; it was Antonio again, a hard case in one hand and a straw hat hanging haphazardly around his neck. They watched each other, the scowl on Lovino's face unable to diminish the ridiculous smile that was spread across Antonio's.

An understanding was reached between them in the silence as Antonio sat down before him, placing the case on the carpet and pulling the ridiculous straw hat from around his neck. Lovino stared and Antonio bit his lip for a moment, trying to find the right words to say. His face hadn't changed. He was still the most handsome man Lovino had ever seen, his green eyes that shone like emeralds and the curly brown hair in a constant state of being windblown. The tanned skin that he wanted to just caress with the tips of his fingers, to remember how smooth it was that night so long ago when everything was Antonio.

The Spaniard took Lovino's hands and pressed them to his lips, murmuring words of apologies and explanations that seemed to simply fly over his head. _Old friend from Belgium, cousin of Francis's, hadn't seen her in years, meant nothing, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry._ He wasn't interested, he wanted to say. He wanted to tell the bastard that he didn't care, that none of it mattered, but somehow, the only thing he could think to do was grip Antonio by the shoulders and push him to the carpet roughly, pressing his lips to the man's in a desperate attempt to rekindle what they had.

And suddenly Antonio was laughing and Lovino was blushing hotly and fell back away from him, embarrassed and angry. What had he done wrong? But Antonio didn't let him ask, wrapped his arms around Lovino's waist once more and kissed him again, pressing his back against the couch as he did so. He put his lips to Lovino's ear.

_Te quiero._

Lovino didn't know what that meant, but it sounded like a promise, and he felt the words down to his bones.


End file.
